Oh How The Tables Have Turned: An Open Apology to Husbandless Females

“I couldn’t do what you do.” I had a friend tell me the other day as she debated about getting married at the tail end of her senior year of college. Her fear of graduating husbandless was confusing to me, until I remembered the way my brain used to think when I was going to school. For my friends who aren’t familiar with Utah or Idaho culture, a good majority of girls get married off before they graduate.

I remember being halfway through school seeing 23-year-olds leave my college without a rock on their hand and thinking, “wow, that would be terrible.” I felt bad for the hags, and I KNEW that would never be me. There were many times I laid on my bed sulking with friends after break-ups and saying, “at this rate I won’t be married till 2014.” Then we would laugh and choke down more ice cream, because we KNEW that would never happen to us. Fast forward to yesterday when we hit 2014…

Oh how the tables have turned.

This isn’t a post about why I didn’t get hitched years ago. There are plenty of resources for that; starting with half relatives who somehow bypassed getting blocked from my Facebook posts, and ending with strangers who were convinced that forcing a 2nd date with a guy who made me pay for valet parking would do the trick.

No.

This is a post about not fearing what you don’t know and not being worried when your life doesn’t turn out the way you planned it.

I wish girls realized that they have more than one option. That there really isn’t just one way to do things. And that when your idea of perfect happiness dies, you can still choose to live. After sulking around Utah as a post-grad for two years, I moved out of state and had a roommate that changed my perspective completely. She was beautiful, smart, funny, and living life to the fullest. She was 29, had a boyfriend, a successful business, and was making plans on a weekly basis to try things she had never done before. She operated opposite the ‘norm’ and was the happiest person I knew because of it.

From that moment on, I made it a point to find out what really made me happy, and even if it wasn’t the traditional route for someone like me, I did it anyway.

I would never have guessed that at 26-years-old, I would love a life that has turned out to be so different than the cookie cutter lifestyle I had always envisioned for myself. But I am. And I am so grateful for people I have met along the way who have lives as odd as mine that have taught me to enjoy all the elements of surprise that come with being a human being. Life is unpredictable. There is a lot we can and can’t control. But regardless, happiness is yours for the taking if you fearlessly look for it. The road less traveled, my friends. That’s what I’m talking about (or Robert Frost if we are getting credit hungry).

You want a new start? Do it. You want to go back to school? Apply for it. You want to start your own business? Why not? You want to climb Mount Kilimanjaro? Hike it. The Babcock did.

Cheers to 2014 from the happiest hag to ever eat her own words. And a toast to the abnormal and the unexpected.

**Note: Most this post was written mid-2013 before more recent events, but I didn’t want to leave it unpublished. My personal life may have changed since then, but the beliefs have not.