Browsing Category

Life

Life Without Erica Hawkins
Life

Life Without Erica Hawkins

No one has anything good to say. We are all just sitting on a cliff in Laguna Beach watching the waves crash and trying to figure out what life for the next year and a half will be like without our best friend…Erica Hawkins. If you are wondering if we are just about to have an “it’s a wonderful life” moment. The answer is yes. This week Erica hopped on a plane to Russia to serve a mission. Here is how I imagine my world for the next year and a half without her.

1. No Good Karaoke

If you have ever seen Erica sing Karaoke, then you know that AppleBee’s Tuesday Karaoke Night is never going to be the same. I have never met anyone that could get a crowd of mediocre-steak loving customers up on their feet and screaming for songs like: Janice Joplin’s Piece of My Heart, Bonnie Tyler’s Total Eclipse of the Heart, and Bette Midler’s Wind Beneath My Wings. It was not uncommon for the Karaoke DJ or the restaurant host to try to steal part of the limelight by making the performance a duet mid-song. The crowd would be cheering, people in the corner booths would tear up, and as the song ended everyone would get depressed as they realized that we were actually still in an Applebees and the 80’s ended back in the 80’s. I have never seen anything like it and I don’t think I ever will. At least not until she gets back to the United States

2. No Good Facebook Hacks or Videos

Jordan Bledsoe wherever you are… I know this is hurting you the most. You are probably wondering, “who will leave 10 video messages on my Facebook wall for my birthday this year?” I don’t know. I wish I had the answer. Also, Danielle Blevins you are probably asking yourself..” Who is going to hack my Facebook, friend request guys, and then post a picture of them on my wall with this status?”

Once again.. I wish I knew. Below are a few of my favorite hacks to hold us off until she gets back. (If you have more to contribute send me the link and I will put it up)

I am going to miss coming home to find my Facebook open and a message like this at the top of my wall.

3. Everyone Will Stay Depressed

There have been so many times that Erica Hawkins has dragged my lifeless sorry self out of bed and into the sunshine. I can’t count the number of tears that she has somehow made evaporate with jokes about her relationships with Jordan Bledsoe, Levi Dukes, Christian Jones, and Jeff Larsen (if any of you are reading this, she STILL loves you.) Erica has an ability to drag someone’s emotions from a -50 to a +500 in T minus 5 seconds. Her method? Laughter and extreme distractions. You can’t stay depressed when your best friend is screaming Celine Dion lyrics, and even if you were trying to say something depressing…nobody could hear you.

6. Classic Skating Will Go Out of Business

I am pretty sure Classic Skating made most of it’s money off Erica Hawkins. Nobody loves knee high socks and roller tricks like Erica. Nobody.

7. Everyone Will Dress Boring

Until I met Erica, fashion was predictable. I am sure Urban Outfitters swears under it’s breath every time she flawlessly throws on a chex mix of great DI finds and vintage hand me downs to out do any “hipster” clothing catalogue.

8. I Won’t Be Dating/Marrying Kevin Hawkins

Recently, I was introduced to a crowd of people as the newest daughter-in-law to the Hawkins family. I couldn’t have been prouder. The only problem? I have never actually met Erica’s brother Kevin. Our entire relationship has been fabricated by the mind of Erica Hawkins. Now that she is gone… I don’t know if our fragile long distance relationship will last. TBA. But Kevin, if you are reading this…I miss you boo.

9. The Definition of Free Spirit Could Potentially Be Forgotten

One of Erica’s best qualities is that she doesn’t care what other people think. She knows who she is and isn’t afraid to let her hair down. If that means shouting from the rooftops…so be it.

10. Adventures Will Be Put On Hold

I am going to miss huffing and puffing to get to the top of a hill and find Erica standing on a cliff edge Pocahontas style. Whether it’s a rooftop, cliff, or mountain, she is constantly defying gravity and dragging the people she loves most with her. It was always a reminder to me that life is worth living and a bit of fresh air never hurt anybody.

So there you have it Russia. I hope you are happy that you have kidnapped one of our best. To be honest (and less selfish) I know that there are people across the world that need a blonde-haired burst of sunshine more than me and I am excited for this new chapter in Sister Hawkins life. Best of luck!

How Am I Supposed to Breathe with No Er Er

In honor of Erica leaving this week, here is one of her favorite videos to expose of me when she hacks my Facebook. It is absolutely mortifying but I feel like it is appropriate for the occasion. Jordan Sparks couldn’t have said it better when she asked…How Am I Supposed to Breathe with No Er Erica?

Going to miss you Hawkins. HAGS.

April 30, 2012 by
sig
❤, Life

The Siginificant Other vs. The Easter Dinner

We have been warning him for months, but he doesn’t understand. “Easter in our family is not NORMAL,” my cousin and I cackle as we start the I-15 drive to my Grandma’s house. The significant other in the back seat has no idea what he is in for and even if he did the car doors are locked and it’s too late now. However, he is not the only one. This year we had not 1, not 2, but 3 significants coming for Easter dinner. In my family this is unheard of. You could even say it was a miracle. As you read on, you will understand why. We have three traditions at Easter that we absolutely love, but that could put any solid relationship in jeopardy. And here we go…

Round 1: Easter Egg Truth or Dare

Easter in my family is centered around one very special family member, my cousin Tessa Farnsworth. This is because none of us can forget the events of Easter 2009 when my dad asked her visiting boyfriend how it felt to date a “more experienced woman.” What my Dad didn’t know is that A) That question was weird and B) Tessa had recently kissed another boy who happened to be my cousin’s best friend AND my Grandma’s archenemy. From my Dad’s comment, my brother assumed that Tessa’s secret was out and made a very special Easter egg detailing the kiss in white crayon.

By the time the egg emerged from the dye, all chaos had broken loose.

My Grandma squealed, Tessa’s boyfriend went rogue, and the rest of the family was either screaming or laughing histarically. The boyfriend never came back, but the tradition did.

Ever since then each cousin writes a family deep dark secret in white crayon on an easter egg. We all sit around and wait for the dye to reveal the much anticipated secrets from the previous year. The significant passes this round if he/she can take the heat and does not leave Easter dinner early.

This years winning egg? Due to a similar explosion of chaos, it cannot be discussed at this time (too soon).

Round 2: The Easter Egg Hunt

I am sure somewhere there is a perfect family that hides bright colored easter eggs in small patches of grass for babies to find. In our family, this is not the case. We leave easter egg hunting to the pros. After giving the two nephews a few eggs and a pat on the back, the older cousins turn into animals and it’s every man for himself.

My grandparents hides 100 eggs a year filled with dollar bills and quarters. When I say hide, I mean that my grandma uses camoflauge eggs and spends hours laughing to herself as she color coordinates the shells to match their surroundings. She is ridiculously good at it and we love it. After an hour of screaming, searching, and tackling each other, we give up and count the eggs. What the significant other’s don’t know is that the egg hunt is a test. We rank them on four things:

  1. Skill: The number of eggs they find.
  2. Survival: The number of eggs they win in a head to head battle for the same egg.
  3. Baby-Girl-Loving: The number of eggs they sneak to their girlfriend when no one is looking.
  4. Persistence: The amount of time they spend looking for the last 2-3 eggs skillfully buried somewhere near the earth’s core.

This year the significants passed. Previous years, this has not been the case.

Round 3: It’s What’s Inside the Egg That Really Matters

You can’t judge an Easter egg by it’s shell. It’s important to understand that regardless of looks a person’s personality is really what matters most. This is exactly why my Grandparents hang up every mortifying picture of their grandkids they can find to create the ultimate relationship test.

Upon entering the house, the significant is bombareded with photos of braces, chokers, baby fat, tie-dye shirts, and scrunchies. This forces him/her to focus their energy on the sweet spirit of the person they are dating because…. let’s be honest… you won’t be looking at them the same after you see these photos. The significant passes this round if he/she A) Does not offend anyone by how loud they laugh and B) Can get past the fact that the person they are dating used to rock pucka shells and sky-high bangs.

Congratulations Significants 1, 2, & 3!

I am happy to report that this year all the significants passed and we all loved them. I have to give them props for giving 100% effort. Easter was as great as it always is and we can’t wait till next year.

April 15, 2012 by
Life, Los Angeles, Westside Wisdom

10 Things I’ve Learned From Moving to LA

Welcome Home Carly Walker

I grew up in Utah and I went to school at BYU-Idaho. Our idea of a main street closes at 10 and the most dangerous place I have ever set foot in is the Rain Tree Hot Tub. So you can imagine my culture shock when 4 liquor stores and a family reunion of homeless locals were waiting outside my apartment to welcome me to the one and only…Los Angeles, California.

Oh I’ve Been Afraid of Changing

You may be wondering how I got here or why, and to be honest its all a blur. I woke up one day with my bags packed driving off with a pair of knock-off Ray Bans to cover my goodbye tears. It’s like Stevie Nicks said, “I’ve been afraid of changing because I built my life around you, but time makes you bolder, children get older, I’m getting older too.” I have always wanted to move by the beach, but didn’t want to leave the people I loved and had built my life around. Luckily time makes you bolder. Change is a scary thing, but if you stare at a cliff long enough you are bound to jump at some point. This was my ultimate leap of faith. Enough sap…lets get to the good stuff. LA has so many surprises for a young and naive Utah local. Here are my top 10.

1. Winter in California is a Joke

Every morning is the same thing. I peel away my curtains, the Beach Boys start singing, and a pack of California sun beams shower my skin. As my old roommates would say, “It’s a tender mercy” and I swear it’s not real life.

2. Inglewood Is Up To No Good

One of my first nights here, I ran out of gas in the wrong part of town. I soon learned what Dr. Dre meant when he said Inglewood was up to no good. Without thinking I got out of a car in a dim-lit empty gas station. Out of the shadows emerged four gangsters and I was surrounded. Terrified, tears-welled up in my eyes as they made their demands…a bag of potato chips. Someone should tell Ruffles they have a huge fan base in the hood.

3. The Street Doesn’t Sweep Itself

Speaking of hoods, this gem was on my hood the next morning for blocking a street-sweeper.

I learned the hard way that it’s cleaning services are highly valued by the state of California. I wish LA gave you the opportunity to hand sweep the section of curb your car blocked, because for 68 bones I would have made that thing look like gold.

4. If it Once Moved, You Can Eat It

My menu of beef and potatoes is quickly expanding. There are food trucks and restaurants everywhere serving anything from octopus to chicken on waffles. Kissing the chef would be an understatement of my affections.

5. Ikea Furniture is Cheap for a Reason

Imagine playing a game of charades but instead of guessing a word you had to guess how to build a 12-piece set of furniture. Thanks to Ikea’s pictures-only instruction manuals, this nightmare is a reality. The worst part is: You can’t get those five precious hours of your life back. It’s not in their return policy.

6. Blondes Run This Town

Being a small fish and moving into a big city has been overwhelming. One night, I put my head in my hands and sighed,”I’m just this little blonde girl.” A sassy neighbor replied, “Honey, blondes run this town.” Dolly Parton could not have been more inspiring and I have held my head high ever since.

7. The “F” Word is an Adjective

The “F” word is highly valued in Utah. People have been saving up this swear word their entire lives in case they ever need a way to describe a catastrophic event. If they get the urge to use it for anything less than a disaster, they use a swear-replacement such as “F,” “freaking,” “flip,” etc. So the first time I heard someone casually say $%^#, I thought something terrible had happened. I have since learned that this word is used for many different creative purposes and does not require me to rush to the aid of every single person that uses it. I have also learned to cover up my wide-eyed reactions by pretending something is in my eye.

8. Men Here Are Beautiful

I have never seen more good-looking men in my entire life. I knew the first time a guy turned to me at Marshalls and said in a low voice, “Hey, that lamp is fresh,” I was in trouble.

9. Honking Isn’t a Good Thing and There is No Such Thing as a Shortcut

In Provo, the only time you hear cars honking is when a sedan crammed full of freshmen boys see a girl for the first time. California is the opposite. Getting a honk is not a compliment and can mean anything from “You should have ran that light” to “I had a gut feeling you were about to cross the road.” It is similar to a game of Operation where even breathing in the wrong direction results in a chorus of beeps.

Unsolved mysteries should really try to tackle why no matter where you are or how far you are going, it will always take you 30 minutes to get anywhere in LA.

10. LA is Home to the Free Spirited

One thing I love and can’t get over is that everyone that I’ve met here marches to the beat of their own drummer. They aren’t scared to be themselves and it’s a strict “no fear” policy. If you want to stand on a ladder in a public place with a loin cloth on….you do it. In all honesty, It’s an amazing environment to be in. Without fear holding anyone back, people are doing incredible things with their time and the energy is contagious.

“You Are Like an Alien That We Get to Show the World”

I have been so surprised from my move to a city, but I have to say I am in love. As terrifying as the move has been, it’s amazing waking up and knowing that each day is going to be a new adventure. So bring it on LA, bring it on.

March 20, 2012 by
Carson
Life

Should You Let Your Little Brother Work With You?

The Sister of Carson Walker

I am in the slowest elevator in the world with an unnamed coworker. After a few seconds of internal debate the unknown coworker finally asks, “Is it true?” Although he is trying not to smile, the corners of his lips are fighting their way up to his cheeks. In my head I already know what he is about to say, but I let him finish. “Is it true that you are Carson Walker’s sister?!”

This happens at least once a week.

Flashback to a year ago. My little brother had just hopped off a plane from a two-year mission to Ghana Africa. He was a penniless college student rocking an anything but ordinary Bob Marley accent. At the end of his first two terms back at college he needed a job and asked if I would help him get a position on my company’s internal call floor.

In two weeks my worst fears had come true. Exhibit A:

My brother was instantly a hit on the call floor and was known for his loud chuckles, energy, and yes his planking-esk office stunts.

Over this past year many coworkers have asked me how I like working with my brother. The truth is that as terrified as I was about the idea, I ended up loving it and here is why:

Reason 1: Biggest Fan in the Office

The first month Carson started working at my office people thought he was a secret admirer from the call floor. If you haven’t caught on by now… we look NOTHING alike, we act completely different, and nobody could find a better explanation for why an employee would repeatedly shout my name from across the office until I waved back. As red as my face always got, in a sea of white collars it always feels good to know someone cares about you.

Reason 2: Keeping Things Real

It’s hard to act like a snobby office hot-shot when your brother stops by to remind your co-workers that you need to call your mom back. Not only that, but in chaotic business meetings where the “important things in life” were being overlooked, I would glance down to find messages like these scribbled in my notebook. Exhibit B:

Reason 3: Family Matters

A few months ago a sudden re-organization within the company caught me off guard. I was told to take the rest of the day off to regroup. Unfortunately, I had carpooled to work. About to burst into tears and stranded at my desk, I text my brother. I got a response within seconds that said “I am already on my way to the office to come get you.” This wasn’t the first time my lil bro came to the rescue.

Reason 4: Never a Dull Moment

From origami roses on my desk to surprise bear hugs there has never been a dull moment working with my brother. Especially when his idea of business casual includes vans with a church shirt (Exhibit C below). I can honestly say that on days when I was bored to tears with the sound of clicking keyboards, I looked forward to my brother’s chuckles and laughy taffy jokes.

So there you have it. A solid recommendation to let your younger siblings take over the office you work at.

February 9, 2012 by
Roommate Advice
Life

The 3 Types of Dating Advisers

 

And the Debate Begins

Today I came home with a dating dilemma. I live in Provo Utah so this is nothing new. When you live in the marriage capital of the world these conversations are absolutely unavoidable. For guys who have never seen how these conversations unfold, here is how the situation begins…. I say something along the lines of “Guess who just called me”, my roommates spend literally 5 minutes naming every guy I have dated or looked at in the last 10 years.

Carly Bird Dating

While roommate 1, 2, and 3 keep guessing, Gray’s anatomy is paused and everyone magically transforms into their sweats. Laptops are opened, Facebook is warming up, the ice cream lid has just been pried off with a giant spoon, and GIRL TALK is ready to begin.

What I have realized over the years is that although the roommates may change, the dating advice does not. There always seems to be three basic types of advisers on every dating panel. So here goes. The three voices of reason:

The Voice of Logic

THANK GOODNESS for this roommate. This is the one that immediately shuts down any rash or unconventional ideas. She is usually on her computer throughout the entire dating conversation and is only paying enough attention to keep it from breaking out into a women’s rights protest. She thinks any discussion about men could have been resolved two hours ago and doesn’t believe in over-analyzing hugs, texts, re-tweets, or “looks from across the room.”

In my experience if this roommate is on vacation you should: A) Hide your phone and B) Lock down your computer until they can come back to monitor potentially bad decisions. The only times I have ever showed up crying on my ex-boyfriends doorstep, thrown eggs at someone’s window, or written a dramatic Facebook status using lyrics from Dashboard Confessional…my “voice of logic” was out of town.

The Voice of Love

This roommate is the one that pulls up wedding videos or So You Think You Can Dance routines to solve any dating crisis. They use phrases like, “BUT HE LOVES YOU, YOU CAN JUST TELL!” or “You could literally be married in 3 months” before you have even finished a second date. This roommate has Anthropologies’ wedding line bookmarked on Google and shortcut links to all your potential lovers on Facebook. Not only that, but she has a mental roll-a-dex of index cards with examples of people who have gone through your same situation and made it work.

As much as you may think this roommate should be punished for loving wedding cake and eating it too, she is the HOPE stabilizer in the apartment. You always need someone looking at the glass half full even if the water hasn’t been poured yet.

The Voice of Not Using Your Voice and Making Out Instead

This roommate is my favorite. According to her Shakira had it wrong when she said “hips don’t lie” it was actually LIPS don’t lie. You can recognize this roommate simply by the fact that she is usually the one yelling “JUST MAKE OUT WITH HIM.” Most of her advice consists of copying the climatic ending from her favorite chick flick. This means you…yes… kissing someone… in the rain, on a baseball field, or right before your could-be-lover gets on a plane to leave your life FOREVER (but really just two weeks for Christmas break.) Although kissing may not be the correct answer for the situation the lip-lover is trying to make a point. Why are you sitting here talking about it when you could be doing something about it?

Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires

So there you have it. The three voices of reason who independently could be considered unreasonable. These three dating gurus can give amazing pointers, but remember to keep balance in all things. While they may give good suggestions, the only ideas worth noting are the ones that align with your own common sense about the situation and settle away from the extreme.

Just like only YOU can prevent forest fires, only YOU can prevent a reenactment of Casa Blanca gone terribly wrong.

January 23, 2012 by
Christmas_Flash_Mob
Life

The Office Christmas Flash Mob

Many Reputations Were Hurt During the Making of This Flash Mob

I found this video the other day and it made me remember why I LOVE Christmas. One year ago, our CEO gave us $100.00 to help someone in need. For some reason, a few of us thought that the best gift we could possibly give to the world would be…..(drum roll please)… a FLASH MOB where we showered starving college students with DOLLA BILLS.

For the next week we sacrificed most of our lunch breaks and all of our pride to come up with the perfect dance routine to the N’SYNC classic “Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.” Yes… this really happened.

As you could have already imagined, our flash mob was an absolute fail. Due to some last minute drop-outs, a boom box malfunction, and choreography confusion it didn’t exactly look as planned. As one YouTube commenter put it, “MORMONS ARE AKWARD AS $%#@….unless they are on meth which is likely.”

Even though it tanked, I loved it. It’s nice to know that someone has your back even if it means doing a shimmy in front of an sea of blank faces. Public humiliation does more company bonding than any trust fall exercise I have ever seen. Looking back, I wish someone would have told me I dance like a SIMS character but otherwise I wouldn’t have changed a thing. Giving is always better than receiving especially if you have someone else to do it with in an anything-but-epic way. Merry Christmas ONO.

Oh What? So You Think You Want To Learn the Dance?

Yep, we made tutorials on YouTube in hopes that other people would be inspired to join the BYU Library Flash Mob. Since these were never put to full use, feel free to click on the links below to learn our dance routine to N’SYNC.

Merry Christmas from ONO!

December 21, 2011 by
Date_Travis_Hatch
❤, Life

4 Solid Reasons You Should Be Dating Travis Hatch

Say Hello Ladies

Alright so… I have this friend. His name is Travis Hatch and we have known each other for 6 years now. Anyway. He is currently SINGLE (which rarely happens) so I thought I would help advertise my favorite Provo bachelor. In 10 minutes we put together four compelling videos that will surely tug at the heart strings of all single-women in Utah county. Here goes. Four SOLID reasons to date Travis:

Reason #1: He is creative

This trick/code/pen-drawn tattoo I am about to show you is as good as it get when it comes to male creativity. If you aren’t impressed by this you are either A) a dude that stumbled on this post by accident B) someone with moderate to low expectations. Prepare to be amazed:

Reason #2: He is a musician

Who doesn’t like a guy that can play a few notes on a guitar? The whispering is what will really get you:

Reason #3: In The Hipster Realm But Not Of It

It’s very easy to find a hipster in Provo. It is somewhat difficult to find an average guy who got attacked by a “indie” hairdresser on his way home from school. If you are looking for someone that could pass as a hipster, but won’t waste your time taking instagram photos of nature landscapes and mexican food, this is the guy for you:

Reason #4: Was Once Voted the Most Interesting Guy in Rexburg

Yes this really happened. Travis has been haled as the most interesting guy in one of the smallest towns known to the state of Idaho. The runners up for “most interesting” were Bear world and the Potato museum. Click here to see the video.

Get Him

There you have it ladies. The best of Travis Hatch. What are you waiting for? In all honesty, this is one of the all-around greatest guys I know.

December 20, 2011 by
One_on_One
Life, Office

Welcome to One on One

Oh Hey Didn’t See You There

I honestly love the people that I work with. If it weren’t for my co-workers, I probably wouldn’t get out of bed in the morning…literally. I have a carpool that texts, calls, and gives inspirational speeches to help me drag my lifeless body out of bed and into the car by 7:45. And it doesn’t stop there. I don’t know anyone that gets personal street fighter tutorials from friends in their IT department or gets basketball coaching while playing endless PIG tournaments on the indoor basketball court. I once wanted to win a PIG tournament so bad that a co-worker spent the majority of his lunch break just re-bounding basketballs and showing me how to shoot.

These people have become some of my best friends over the past year. From saving skunks trapped in a trash can to flash mobbing office meetings there has never been a dull moment. Which is why it is so hard to see some of them go.

Over the past six months, a lot of my closest friends have graduated from the doors of One on One. In memory of the good times, here is a video I made of some of those co-workers I would consider to be company “legends.” Who needs boring, life-less employees when you could be hanging with the best of One on One?

November 14, 2011 by
Life

Dating Younger Men


Go Cougar: An Exclusive Interview with Erica Hawkins

This topic hits close to home, so I will try to tip-toe around it as best I can. Is there anything wrong with dating younger men? Yeah he may be the same age as your younger brother, but is it possible that an “old-soul” could be trapped inside that baby face? Erica Hawkins thinks so. To the point where it may even be exclusive.

Since the age of 18 she has made it a rule of thumb to ONLY date boys who have not yet reached the ripe age of 19. “Some say its bad, but how could something so bad feel this good?,” she stated in a recent interview shown below. And she truly believes it (Erica has sent out 3 different missionaries in the past two years.) An activist for these “freshmen sweethearts”, she is out to prove that not all men were born before 1987. You go girl.

October 18, 2011 by
Life, Office

The Job Your Job Could Smell Like

One on One Goes Old Spice

One morning I found a flip cam on my desk with instructions from my boss to make a video for an upcoming conference. Have you ever had someone walk up to you and ask you to be funny on the spot? That’s what it felt like… and I panicked. Me, My friend Matty, the legendary Jeff Mills only had one day to pull this together so we decided to do a spoof off of the Old Spice commercials.

Things would have been great if.. A. Every special effect hadn’t gone terribly wrong and B. If we weren’t using a flip cam and balancing on moving office chairs (the camera didn’t have a zoom.) Luckily, two wrongs make a right and the video looked ABSOLUTELY AWFUL, so awful that it was almost funny. Mission accomplished. So here goes: One on One the job your job could smell like. Don’t freak out when you see how awesome these special effects are.

September 30, 2011 by